


i did fine (i'd never do it again)

by shallot



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, pretty self indulgent tbh but who CARES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 03:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21451597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shallot/pseuds/shallot
Summary: Even though Mac knows (he's pretty sure) Dennis won't leave again, he's been having nightmares ever since Dennis got back from North Dakota.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 4
Kudos: 96





	i did fine (i'd never do it again)

**Author's Note:**

> this is just self indulgent established!macdennis hurt/comfort fluff
> 
> i love these idiots and ronald mac mcdonald is baby 
> 
> dennis is.... so nice it's probably out of character, don't judge me dreams are free as to how nice he'd be to mac if (when) they get together
> 
> title is from cub sport's as long as you're happy <3

He’s back.

Dennis is back.

And Dennis wants Mac. In the way that Mac has wanted Dennis for what feels like a thousand lifetimes.

Things are going well; Mac will be the first to tell anyone who has the misfortune of stepping into Paddy’s Pub that things are going well.

“Our specials? Ask my boyfriend, I mean, the bartender!”

And he’ll fond at Dennis and Dennis will fond right back.

Dee will roll her eyes at them and Frank will grumble something about having to witness their gay lovey-dovey bullshit and Charlie will probably just ignore their antics entirely with a little smirk on his face but -

Things are good.

They’re really, _really_ good.

Mac has never been happier.

It doesn’t stop the nightmares. He wonders how they’ve become so frighteningly realistic, then he remembers that the thing he’s most terrified of, the thing that would truly defeat him, has already happened once before.

Dennis left.

Dennis left him behind.

It makes it all the more believable as his dormant mind conjures up endless different scenarios of Dennis leaving him again, each one a special brand of pain.

Mac buys the wrong colour hair dye - Dennis leaves.

Mac regains all that weight he managed to shed - Dennis leaves.

Mac goes the other way and becomes _too _muscly - Dennis leaves.

Mac is a disappointment - Dennis leaves.

No matter how many reassurances Mac gets in waking life, it doesn’t stop the dreams. They’re happening every single night. Initially, Dennis is oblivious that he’s even having them. Mac wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, painfully visceral images of Dennis leaving him again emblazoned on the backs of his eyelids. But he’ll calm himself down, he’ll talk himself out of it because Dennis is _right there _in the bed next to him.

Then, one day, he’s not.

And Mac wakes up from a dream where he forgot to do the grocery shopping and Dennis screamed and raged and left him once again, and he’s sitting bolt upright, tears streaming down his face because it was real - so _real_ \- and Dennis’ name is on his lips, but when his head snaps around to look at the bed beside him, his heart does this almighty lurch because it’s empty, stone cold. He’s ripping the covers off and throwing open the door to the lounge, looking around frantically, unable to rest until he’s got Dennis back in his sight.

The door to the lounge slams against the wall, but Mac feels the relief wash over him like a tidal wave when he sees Dennis is curled up on the couch, his phone in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

He looks utterly bewildered at the sight of Mac, teary-eyed, panicky, and he hesitates for a moment out of pure shock. Then he’s on his feet and he’s cleared the distance between them in a matter of seconds, enveloping Mac in his embrace and letting him soak tears into his bed shirt that was actually one of Mac’s cast-offs. “Oh, baby boy,” he says softly, in that gentle tone that is _only _reserved for Mac. He cards his fingers through Mac’s hair in an attempt to calm him down. “What’s wrong?”

It takes Mac a little while to finally get the words out, but he manages it in the end, cradled in Dennis’ arms, the only place he’ll ever feel truly safe, the place he wants to stay for the rest of eternity. “You were gone,” Mac's lip trembles, and even _he_ can hear how broken he sounds, how desperate he is, just how much he fears those dreams becoming a reality again. 

Dennis squeezes him tight, resting his chin on Mac’s shoulder, a hand splayed across his back, rubbing his bare skin. “I’m right here.”

It’s not enough to convince Mac, not after that moment of complete and utter panic.

“You left, and then I… I woke up and you were gone…” He stumbles over his words, breath hitching and shaky as he tries to choke back the tears.

And Dennis doesn’t quite understand what he means at first, he lets go of Mac a little, so that they’re able to look at each other. “Mac, I didn’t go anywhere, I just couldn’t sleep, so I came in here to have a cup of tea. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

And Mac shakes his head desperately, because Dennis isn’t getting it. “No. In the… in the dream.” And he quickly looks away from Dennis. His voice is barely louder than a whisper because now that he’s over the initial shock of Dennis not being there, it really does feel silly that he’s so worked up about this.

But Dennis is reaching for his cheeks, holding his face, cradling it in his hands and forcing Mac to look up at him. And he can see the flicker of pain in Dennis’ expression; he realises that this is maybe something that plagues the other man as well. “You didn’t tell me you were having bad dreams.”

Mac shrugs, dismissive, trying desperately to avoid Dennis’ eyes. “Not a big deal, bro.”

“It _is _a big deal, Mac.”

What good deed had he done to deserve Dennis actually _caring for him _like this? 

“What… what are they about?”

“Just one,” Mac mumbles.

“Hmm?”

“It’s just one dream. Different versions each night.”

“Mac…”

“I screw up. You… you…”

He doesn’t want to finish the rest of the sentence, is so terrified if he says it that Dennis will do exactly that. Call him superstitious, but it’s as if him saying it will set them on some definitive path that he won’t be able to escape. But it doesn’t matter, because Dennis knows what he means anyway.

“Mac.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not leaving you again.”

“How am I supposed to know that?” he’s trying to be petulant and grumpy about it, trying to save face for some bizarre reason, but it comes out all wrong and he just sounds a bit hopeless, really.

“Because I love you.” There’s a pause where Mac doesn’t reply, doesn’t say it back like he usually would without a second’s hesitation and it’s clear it throws Dennis off a little bit. “You know I love you, right?” he adds.

And then Mac nods, his head nestling in the crook of Dennis’ shoulder.

“And you know I’m not going to leave?”

Mac lets out a shaky sigh, his breath puffing against Dennis’ skin, and nods once more. “Yeah. Just… want you to be happy, y’know? And… I worry. That you’re not. I just want to make you happy, Den.”

And Dennis doesn’t reply but Mac knows that he knows, knows that Dennis gets scared as well, and really, it’s all very ridiculous for two men in their 40s to be sidestepping around their feelings like this, but that’s just the way they are. Twenty odd years of sexual repression tended to do that.

Neither of them says anything for a little while. They stand there in each other’s embrace and Mac calms down, just like he’s been doing for the last few weeks, months even - when he thought about it properly that’s how long it had been since Dennis had returned, and even before they’d sorted everything out and begun whatever _this_ was, the dreams had plagued him.

It’s much easier with Dennis there to help him. Long fingers in Mac’s hair, surprisingly strong arms holding him close, lips on his forehead, cheeks, nose, lips, the kisses featherlight and barely brushing his skin. Dennis’ touch soothes him, settles him, grounds him.

“Mac,” Dennis breaks the silence eventually. “You make me so happy,” he murmurs the words against the corner of Mac’s mouth before he kisses him.

Mac clings to him. The kiss is gentle, slow, and he feels the stress dissipate from his muscles and everything relaxes as he lets himself melt into Dennis.

Home.

They make tea, and Mac glances at Dennis’ phone for the time. It’s nearly 4 in the morning, and he’s sitting here with the love of his life who just burnt his tongue on his tea because he’s an impatient motherfucker and can’t wait until it’s not scalding hot. Their legs are tangled together beneath the kitchen table, and Mac feels his heart ache, but it’s a good ache. His emotions are tinged with a little disbelief, and he wonders whether he’ll ever be able to shake that - the heart wrenching awe that Dennis is _his. _That Dennis _cares._

Dennis is on his phone again, probably scrolling through Instagram. Every once in a while, he will laugh at something, or frown at the screen and mumble something unintelligible, and Mac just watches him, sipping his tea slowly, until Dennis catches him looking, glancing up and grinning at him, a little bashful. “Do you want to go back to bed?” he asks.

Mac shakes his head.

Instead they turn on the tv, end up cuddled together on the couch, and neither of them are really watching what is on the screen. Mac is taking up most of the room, legs stretched out, and Dennis sits upright at the other end, Mac’s head is on his chest, listening to the steady thud of Dennis’ heart.

“I love you,” Dennis tells him, and drops a kiss into Mac’s hair.

“Love you too.” Mac shifts slightly in Dennis’ embrace, pressing himself even closer to if that’s even possible. “Dennis?”

“Yeah?”

‘You’d tell me, right?’

And he can feel Dennis stiffen slightly. “Tell you…?”

“If I was… if you were going to… go again?”

“Mac, you idiot, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You might have to.”

“Seriously, dude. I’m not.”

“But you’d tell me, right?”

“Mac…”

“Just… if you do ever want to go, just tell me.”

And Dennis lets out a resigned sigh. “Mac, if I was going to go anywhere, I would _need _to tell you, you would be coming with me, dumbass.”

And that satisfies Mac, for now. It’s enough for him. He tilts Dennis’ chin down and kisses him, slow, languid, his hand creeping up to rest on the back of Dennis’ neck, fingers running over the soft little hairs there. Dennis makes these beautiful little breathy noises between kisses, and then shifts his positioning so that his legs are stretched out like Mac’s over the length of the couch, pulling Mac fully on top of him, kissing him once more.

Eventually, the sounds of late-night television are the only ones in the room, and even though neither of them had felt tired half an hour before, it’s nearly 5 and they have to be at the bar in the morning. Exhaustion has caught up to them and Mac’s eyes are drooping shut -

“Mac.” He hears it distantly. “Mac.” Dennis flicks his cheek (not very gently, fuck him) and begrudgingly Mac opens his eyes. “Mac it’s fucking freezing.” Dennis whines.

Mac makes a noncommittal grunt and shuts his eyes again. He’s perfectly comfortable, but Dennis won’t quit it, of course he won’t.

“Mac, can you get a blanket? Oi, dickhead. Mac.”

“Get it yourself.”

“Dude, you’re literally on top of me, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“But I’m comfortable, Dennis.”

“Fuck you.”

Dennis jabs him in the ribs and Mac lets out a yelp. “Fuck _you_, bro.” Dennis is fucking giggling - since when did Dennis _giggle_? - and it’s enough to convince Mac to do as he asks.

Bleary-eyed, he stumbles through to the bedroom and hauls their duvet off the bed, briefly wondering why they’re even bothering sleeping on the couch, then settles right back down on top of Dennis, pulling the blanket over them, eyes falling shut the second his head hits Dennis’ chest.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Even though Mac can’t see him, he knows Dennis is rolling his eyes, but then he feels a kiss against his temple and he can’t be bothered to argue back, just nestles his body even closer to Dennis’, and sighs happily.

The tears and distress from earlier seem like a lifetime away, and for the first time in a long time, Mac falls comfortably into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> wow thank you so much for reading! pls don't hesitate to let me know what you thought, leave a comment or a kudos it's very much appreciated :)) 
> 
> i'm babyboymac on tumblr


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